How do I follow my passion if I don’t know what it is?

A little less conversation, a little more action if you please.

Actions speak louder than words.

And here’s a whole slew of other action quotes.

We all know that taking action is important.

So, what’s the deal? Why can we get so stuck as HSPs in thinking about what we need to do all day without ever raising a finger to do it? Why do we spend more time making lists and worrying about them than doing even one thing on the list?

This is VITAL to HSPs finding their ideal profession/career/calling/vocation…and it is the very thing that keeps us from it.

I recently read one of the best, most succinct, and vital books about this topic of action that I have ever read.

“The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield talks about resistance, the imbalance between the life we “live” and the “unlived life” of an artist, entrepreneur, and HSP. He doesn’t actually use the term HSP, but that’s who he’s talking about.

This is what I call the tug between the doing and the thinking about doing, it’s resistance.

Before reading further, promise something. Promise me that you WILL NOT use this post as a form of resistance. This information is not meant to be one more guilt trip, one more thing to analyze and figure out before you get to action. It is meant to do the exact opposite. It is meant to leave you feeling innocent and free to do what you really want to do. Just let it sink in, no attempt to understand or analyze. Promise yourself right now that you will DO SOMETHING as soon as you finish reading this. It doesn’t matter what, I will tell you why it doesn’t matter in a minute. Just promise yourself right now.

Ok, phew, got that done. Now down to the good stuff.

As HSPs, we see the BIG picture. We see how perfect everything COULD be. We can see how everything COULD be done better. That is our strength…and our weakness. We are giants. We can get stuck in the clouds if we stay there without doing anything to act on what we see. It requires more intentional effort for us to lean down and look at the ground in front of us to see what the next step is rather than just looking at the view.

We also have a tendency toward wanting approval, due to all that fun childhood stuff of feeling different and wanting/needing approval.

This can be a powerful combo to keep us stuck. If you add into the mix a 9 to 5 model of living/working…yikes.

We get really good at using our sensitivity to feel out what others want and how to do it perfectly. Either we do it and get great praise for how amazing our work is as we are recovering from the overwhelm related to working that hard OR we think about how much work it will be and get totally overwhelmed just thinking about it and so we never take it any further.

We come to believe that we are wanted for what we DO not who we ARE.

To top that off, we don’t often have readily available examples of someone breaking the mold in a way that we can relate to. Instead we have a plethora of people telling us to be “safe, smart, careful, reasonable, etc.”

What you want probably hasn’t been done before. It’s going to be new and different and that is just right.

Our subconscious/body/ego/fear has the job of keeping us safe. It uses programming related to emotionally sensitizing experiences of childhood and physical programming that our bodies are born with to keep us physically safe and cared for. Emotions imprint our bodies with programming through chemical hormones about what to do more of and what to avoid in order to live safely. It keeps us in that balance between standing out enough to be given care and not standing out too much to get in the way.

Our superconscious/higher self/uniqueness/love is what drives us to do creative, new things. It is our inspiration and our source of ideas. It is innovation. It comes from within our subconscious. Thoughts and sensations from a more inspired source. Pressfield talks about this as genius or muses. There is a great video from TED by Elizabeth Gilbert (author from the books in my name change post) about this.

It is 20 minutes, so you can watch it now or come back later:

Our conscious mind is where our power lies. It is the ONLY thing we control. It is our awareness.

We are either expanding in love or contracting in fear. What we focus on is the deciding factor about what that action is.

The only thing we control is what we choose to be aware of.

Once we are aware of something, then we can act on it. Our actions show what we truly believe. Acting on something new shows that we believe it can be different.

I like to think of our conscious mind like a radio that we tune into different stations, or frequencies.

All 3 of these parts of us are important and just right as they are. They all have important roles and functions. The hang-up happens when we don’t use them effectively.

 Resistance happens whenever we do something new. It is the inevitable pull between our subconscious and our superconscious minds. Our subconscious will do whatever it can through thought and emotion to keep us where we are while our superconscious wants us to move forward and make improvements to live better in alignment with what we want.

This looks like: “Yeah, I can do an online program for HSPs that would encompass all the great information that I have to support them in a format that is accessible and brings them all together, while it can stay at a low price! That’s IT! I must do it!” At this time, excitement and enthusiasm are flowing. Move ahead a short time: “Yeah right. You can’t do that. No one will sign up. You really don’t have that much to offer. Think of all the time you will have to invest in that. You’re too young. You don’t know enough about technology. You’ll do something wrong and look like an idiot. Wait until you have more people who are interested….etc.” At this time, emotions of sadness, fear, frustration, and anxiety were flowing.

That’s all hypothetical…right (wink).

That is resistance. I had to battle through calling a friend first, checking my email, listening to some music, getting a snack….before I finally sat down to write this. That is resistance.

There is nothing wrong with me for having that experience. None of my thoughts are “true”. They are just things to notice. It’s like asking whether or not a couch is “true”. It just is. It might be blue or black, with stripes or made of velvet. But, asking whether or not it’s “true” is irrelevant. Yet, we do that with our thoughts and feelings all the time. They are just things to notice.

We get to use our consciousness (cue SuperWOman music) to focus on whatever it is that we want to expand. We get to use our awareness to make a plan of action that seems best.

And then, there is NO WAY to think yourself into acting.

At some point you just DO it. You move your body. You pick up the phone, you type, you walk out the door, you collect your laundry, you put on your running shoes.

The brilliant thing about life is that eventually if we don’t do things for long enough, they get piled too high to do anything about them and all our “shoulds” become irrelevant anyway. It all goes out the window and all we can do is what we want to do right now anyway. Isn’t that funny?!

The “shoulds” never matter.

One thing that Pressfield talks about in that book is the difference between what is urgent and what is important. We will always have things urging for our attention. Everything and everyone wants it. We get to choose what we focus it on. We get to decide if something brings value into our life or adds value to the world, and that means it is important if it does. And we do whatever is most valuable at any given moment.

You can only take the step that is in front of you. You can only breathe for this moment. You can’t breathe all the breaths you need for the next day right now.

Yes, give everything a home. Make plans. Use a calendar. And then just follow it. Do what is in front of you. Do what you want to do.

This is the point at which you say, “what if I don’t know what I want?” “What if I don’t know what I value or what I can do to add value?”

It doesn’t matter.

Everything you do is feedback. It is ALL feedback.

Whatever you do now tells you about what you want to do more of and what you want to do less of, as you use the techniques I have shared previously about listening to/noticing your emotions as they arise as a way to know what outcome you want.

Some questions to ask that will help:

What do I hope others will do for me?
What do I spend my time doing for others?
What would I do if I didn’t have anyone/anything to worry about and everything/everyone was ok?
What would I do if someone gave me a million kabillion dollars?
What if everything I did was just right, no matter what, what would I do?
What if nothing I did mattered, what would I do?
What if everything I did mattered, what would I do?
What if I found out I was going to die in a week, what would I do?
What do I dream about (keep a dream journal)?
Who do I most admire? What do they do that I admire?
About what do I get angry? Fired up? Excited? Thrilled? Tickled?
What do I do when no one is looking? What do I hide?
What scares me more than anything else?
What would I be most terrified to do?
What secret repetitive thoughts do I have when going to bed or upon waking about what would make everything better? About what I really want? About what would be really fun? About my life? Etc.?

Answer these questions honestly, knowing that they don’t mean anything about what you have to do. You are just looking, noticing, checking things out.

Now, pick one NEW thing to do from answering your questions. One new thing to explore. This needs to be simple. This needs to be something you can do right now.

It can be skipping instead of walking, calling someone you never call, making a new meal, watching a new movie/show/video on YouTube, Googling a topic, finding a class to go to, etc.

Got it?

Don’t move on until you do.

Done.

Here’s the cool part and why it doesn’t matter what you do. Doing ANYTHING new gets you out of your routine and brings new things into your life. And, as you know doing ANYTHING gives you feedback. If you get a little off the path you want to be on, you can only find that out by getting off the path and then you know to try something a little more to the left or to the right.

Doing new things gets you better and better at feeling scared and uncomfortable and acting anyway.

Keep aware of how cunning your subconscious is. It will use guilt trips about religion, your kids, being a lousy parent/child/neighbor/etc. to keep you analyzing and out of acting. Any time you’re wondering about your worth or ability to do what you want (fear), that’s the old subconscious. Tune that radio dial. Attend to something else. Focus on a penny, the sidewalk, or the sensations in your body (love them all by noticing them unconditionally).

Anytime you analyze something, you send a profound and subtle message that there is something wrong with it.

I’m writing that again, this is big and small. Anytime you analyze something, you send a profound and subtle message that there is something wrong with it.

Only analyze or use your subconscious to work on projects, make plans, and fix things. You are never something to be fixed. Emotions are never something to be fixed. It’s that couch thing I talked about earlier. You can notice it. You can even notice what you want. And then you can take action to make changes to get what you want…but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or what is. It simply is.

This. Is. It.

You can only do what is in front of you and you must do what is in front of you. There is always something in front of you. Even if you have been sitting a while doing nothing. It’s never to late to do SOMETHING (that’s the subconscious telling you that it’s too late).

The more you act, the more you realize that it’s all about what you want anyway. So, you don’t have to know what you want. You will. Get your best plan/hypothesis and go for it. Eventually you will realize there is no best thing to do…or another way to put it is that everything you do is the best thing for you to do.

We are always most scared of what we have to offer of most value because it is what makes us the most different. Our rarest qualities are what make us stick out, and the things that only we have to offer. So, we hide them and we fear them because that means being different from the pack. What is most rare is also most valuable.

So follow the fear, that’s where the juice is.

And read this book:

We will always fear what is most important to us. Follow the fear…and ACT.

If you are looking for a way to take more action toward understanding your sensitivity and thriving with it, I have reopened my online program until this Friday, the 30th. I may open it again in the future, but I don’t know for sure.

So, if you are considering it, take advantage now. There is no reason to wait.

This. Is. It.

I have a strong sense that there are a few people left who need to be in it.

If you are feeling stuck in understanding how your sensitivity works, how you are just right as you are, then take a look to see if it is for you.

Now, go do whatever it is that you promised you would. DO IT. And report back below.